Whew! What a couple of tense days MacSoph and I had! Well, part 1 of Queendom Website's transition is over; now I have to do that 3 more times. Actually I'm going to see if I can talk my tutor Cody into doing it again next time.
I've been so tense and I'm working too much, and Natalie, my friend who is trying to help me widen my horizons, gently nudged me to go to painting class for certain this week, even though I have too many deadlines right now and too much stress in my life.
So I packed up my painting gear and off I went to painting class. It's about a 5 minute drive from my house.
When I arrived, I parked myself in my favorite spot, and I spent a lot of time gazing around the room and thinking. Finally my sweet young teacher said to me, when was I going to start painting? Soon, I said. She asked me what I was doing. I said I was thinking. She said I spend an awful lot of time thinking and not much time doing.
I've been in painting class now for about 8 weeks of actual class time and so far I've produced 3 variations (all unfinished) of one design, 2 variations (also unfinished) of a similar design and that's all.
You know, I spend my whole life working and producing things. I work toward goals and try to achieve them, I spend endless hours working on instructions and beads packets and endless endless hours on MacSoph, all producing something, getting on with work, finishing things, keeping up Queendom Website, writing in my classrooms at Shining Needle Society, and last year, in 2011 I stitched 35 designs which I sold at my hearts sale, my Royal Wedding Extravaganza and of course at the madhouse in my life, my E-Week Sale in October..
In painting classI don't have to try to be the best student; I don't have to paint a painting every time I'm there, I don't have to finish anything. I can just sit back, ask a few questions and reflect on various ways I might do something if I were so inclined and think. I don't have to work hard and produce something. I might just mix some paints and see what colors I can mix. I like to mix paints a whole lot. And I like to daydream about them.
I've thought up so many ideas in painting class! I make notes about them. I dab the paint sometimes onto paper, sometimes on to needlepoint canvas and I think what I might do if I redid it. How would I change the colors? How would I change the lines? How would I do the patterns if I were to stitch on top of the paint? I usually get about half-way through a painting, then painting class is over and I go back home to work again. Back to the grind of turning out work, the push to produce.
So in painting class I've proved a big disappointment.
But it's been a gift. No pressure, no stress. By the end of painting class last time I was so relaxed and sleepy that I came home and instead of working, I had a 2 hour nap.
Here's what painting class has taught me: I understand now why people collect needlework patterns, sort the threads and pet the design and imagine what wonderful things they will make.
I understand about the fantasy now. It's wonderful! Don't let go of it! Ever!